This morning, I thought about how comforted I’ve been by others holding space for me during a difficult time. “Holding space”…did that just come out of me? My new-agey, tree-hugging, pachamama-goddess daughter often talks about holding space for others. I smiled, wondering who takes after whom. I then laughed a little, imagining talking with my parents about holding space, at their favorite breakfast spot. I could hear the enthusiastic “that’s so nice!” followed by “are you ready to order?”
Because I’ve got a monkey mind that jumps all over the place, I began wondering what it even means…”holding space.” I don’t have a personal definition, but it’s kind of like Justice Potter Stewart’s US Supreme Court description of hard-core pornography — I know it when I see it.
Here’s what I see. While others are holding space for me,I’m not alone. In my most vulnerable moments, others are present with me. My words are heard or read, without judgment or opinions or advice. People show up — whether physically in the room or on the phone, or virtually in the cloud, or even appearing in spirit. Eye-to-eye contact, a smile, hug, time together, an emoji or comment on a post — when these come at a time I’m hurting, it creates connection. When you hold space for me, we are connected. And in that connection, I can find comfort.
Thank you for holding space for me, my friends, family, readers, fellows, and followers. I hope I can someday hold space for you and bring you the connection and comfort you’ve given me.
While others are holding space for me,I’m not alone.
Thank you for holding space for me, my friends, family, readers, fellows, and followers. I hope I can someday hold space for you and bring you the connection and comfort you’ve given me.
Want to become a better space holder? Check out The Art of Holding Space: A Practice of Love, Liberation, and Leadership.
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